


After the Reunion

by pekorosu



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Canon - Manga, Fix-It, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pekorosu/pseuds/pekorosu
Summary: “What’s between the two of you is too deep to be called friendship.”That was what Ibe had said to Ash with a straight face.English translation of再会の後。by 小葉.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 103
Collections: BF translations





	After the Reunion

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [再会の後。](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/666775) by 小葉. 



> Permission received from the author to translate and post on AO3. Please do not repost or redistribute elsewhere without permission. 
> 
> The original story was posted on September 28, 2012.

Nestled in a corner of New York City was a hospital with close ties to the Lee family, which was where Ash had been taken to. On paper, he has officially been declared dead. Why Yau-Si had him placed specifically in a hospital under the Lee’s purview was beyond Ash's knowledge. Perhaps it was all part of a well-calculated act to deter further conflict with the other gangs, starting with the public denial of any connection between the Chinese and Lao, the culprit for Ash’s stabbing. It could also be that Yau-Si had some other ulterior motive up his sleeve.

Meanwhile, Ibe and Eiji who had already touched down in Japan immediately took to the skies again as soon as they received news about the stabbing. The fact that they were able to get into the country so easily despite having expired visas could only be thanks to the Lees pulling strings on their behalf.

Despite having been teetering precariously on the precipice between life and death, Ash's operation turned out to be a success and he even regained consciousness by the time Ibe and Eiji arrived at the hospital. Overwhelmed by the good news, Eiji had collapsed on the spot from sheer relief. 

The stress from the long flight over had also aggravated the barely-healed bullet wound on his abdomen, causing a sudden hemorrhage. As a result, Eiji himself had to be hospitalized there and then. 

"We'll head home as soon as you get better, okay?" Ibe had reassured lightly, only to be met with a firm refusal.

"I'm not going back."

Ibe tried to reason with him. "But why? Everything is pretty much settled now. Golzine has perished along with all the secrets of Banana Fish. Ash is finally free, you see? He’s free from all those years of being controlled and manipulated, and from the need to avenge his brother. There's no reason for us to stay anymore, Eiji. We should head back to Japan once you’re cleared for discharge..." 

But Eiji would not budge no matter how much Ibe tried to coax him. "I'm staying, even if it means I’m on my own," Eiji insisted.

Faced with such resistance, Ibe eventually gave up. He too had his own work affairs to sort out back in Japan anyway. That said, there was still something on his mind. If he really had to leave Eiji behind, there was something that he needed to confirm for himself first, no matter what.

\- - - - - - - -

A few days have passed since Eiji was admitted to the hospital.

Today, Ibe drops by Ash's room for a visit. He pulls a chair over to Ash’s bedside and they exchange pleasantries, chatting about nothing at all until Ibe finally reveals Eiji’s intention to remain in the States. And that is when he looks at Ash straight in the eye, face tight with resolve, and speaks his mind frankly.

“What’s between you two... it’s too deep to be called friendship.”

For a split second, Ash turns incredulous. “We’re not—”

“I know. You guys are not in that kind of relationship.”

Ash says nothing.

“But, the way you both seek each other out is... too much. Much more than normal couples. My girlfriend and I can’t even compare.” 

Ash remains quiet as Ibe continues plainly. 

“Eiji is a very sensitive boy, you see. He can be as stubborn as a mule when he’s made up his mind, but he also easily gets swept up in the thoughts and feelings of people that he likes, or people that he’s close to.” Ibe looks away in a brief moment of hesitation, before turning to Ash again and speaking as clearly as possible.

“Will you be okay with that?” 

Ash stills. I...

The room lapses into silence. 

“You should be worrying about your own girlfriend instead of us,” Ash finally says. “How long have you abandoned her? Does she even know you’re still alive?”

Ibe lets out an awkward laugh. “Ouch... You got me there...”

The tense air between them eases a little. Just then, the door swings open and in totters Eiji with his IV drip in tow. “Hey. What are you guys talking about?”

“Eiji?”

“Ei-chan, not again…” 

Ibe jumps out of his seat and rushes over to lend a hand. “You shouldn’t be doing this. The doctor said you have to stay in bed for a few more days, remember?”

Eiji sighs. “But I already feel better.”

“That’s what you think, but you got a fever as soon as you went back to your room yesterday, didn’t you?”

“That’s—”

“Eiji,” Ash cuts in. “Give Ibe a break, will ya? He’s already got enough wrinkles to pass as your granddad.” Eiji falters, which Ash takes as a chance to push on. “Don’t come here anymore until the doc gives the OK.”

“I’m just worried about you—”

“Worry about yourself first,” Ash snaps, and Eiji lapses into silence once again.

“Ei-chan,” Ibe interrupts gently. “Ash said so too, so let’s go back to your room for now. Okay?” 

As he’s leading Eiji to the door, Ash calls out to him. “Ibe-san. What we talked about earlier... I’ll be fine.”

Ibe gives him a long look. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“You’re gonna go bald if you keep worrying this hard.”

Eiji pipes up. “What talk?”

“Never mind that, Ei-chan. I’ll tell you when you get better,” Ibe sighs, nudging him gently out the door by the shoulders. Eiji throws a glance at Ash and their eyes lock for a split second before being promptly cut off by the door swinging shut.

Hm?

Eiji’s expression lingers in Ash’s mind. Something about it seemed ill at ease.

Ash’s room is a private one located at the very end of the highest floor of the building. He figures it was deliberately arranged this way to minimize even the slightest risk of a passer-by recognizing him, now that his mug’s known not just by the cops, but by everyone and their dog as well.

But thanks to that, the room is much quieter now that the two of them have left. It feels a little lonely, somehow. And as soon as he’s alone, the fatigue would start settling deep in his bones. His strength is still sapped it seems, and he can’t stand on his own yet.

The events from the past few days since he regained consciousness start running through his head.

Max often came to visit him.

On the same day that Ash had come to, Max was right by his side, intent on being his personal cheerleader. “The cops will never find out, so just rest up and get better, alright?” Then he rambled away about a whole bunch of stuff. He’s gotten back with Jessica it seems, and apparently Michael had wanted to come see him. Today too, Max had followed that up with a quietly muttered, “But you’re supposed to be dead, so,” before leaving.

“Just relax. Get all the rest you need.”

Those words, which were uttered by Yau-Si with a hint of a smirk, simply put all his guards up. There was no way he’d ever relax around this snake, who had timed his visit precisely when no one else would be around.

“By the way, I’ve been looking after these for you.”

Ash had no recollection whatsoever of asking for any favors, but one of Yau-Si’s men stepped forward to his bedside table and set down his prized gun, as well as a familiar envelope. A sharp bitterness curdled inside him.

God. I really need to get the hell out of here ASAP.

Or so he thinks, but his body just _will not budge_. His constant attempts to get up with this wound may seem insane to the doctor, but they don’t know that the only way he has managed to make it this far in life is by pushing himself to keep going no matter how bad his injuries got. That said, maybe his body has finally run out of steam, now that the cursed Corsican crime lord who'd kept him shackled for years is gone for good. He simply can’t get up this time.

Golzine’s final moments replayed in his mind like a movie. 

What was he thinking? And I…

“I don’t even know what to say...”

Sing had come to apologize but couldn’t bring himself to look Ash in the eye. Apparently, he had to sneak behind his own gang’s back to make it here in the first place.

All of this happened because there had been a traitor among his boys. But before the two of them could settle it fairly as bosses, his own brother had tried to kill Ash. And now, Sing’s reputation along with the Chinese have fallen to the pits. It’s going to be a rough journey going forward if he intends to retain his position as their leader. 

With that in mind, Ash kept his silence. “I can’t get up yet, so look out for Eiji, will you?” That was as much as he could say.

And then there’s Eiji himself.

There’s a reason why he asked Sing for that favor. 

After Eiji had collapsed due to blood loss, he was immediately taken in for surgery and then placed in a separate room. He was warned not to get up and wander around on his own yet, but still, he shows up to check in on Ash every single day, without fail. 

Something about Eiji’s behavior seems a little strange. He has no clue what exactly, but there’s just _something_.

Ash heaves a deep sigh. 

There’s also what Ibe said earlier.

_“What’s between you two... it’s too deep to be called friendship.”_

Me... and Eiji?

That was what Ibe meant, right? He’s never thought about it that way before...

This is stupid. 

Ash brushes it aside.

He may be stuck in this godforsaken hospital bed right now, but he doesn’t have the time to be thinking about such things. He lets his eyelids fall shut slowly, feeling himself bobbing along the waves of drowsiness. He’s already slept so much during the day, and yet... 

Is it because of the meds?

Sedatives are the worst. If anything happens, he won’t be able to get up.

...He should’ve asked Sing how Alex and the others are doing.

Eiji’s expression from earlier runs through his head. Come to think of it, he hasn’t seen Eiji smile at all since their reunion...

Ash continues to float around in a gentle whirlpool of stray thoughts as he drifts off to sleep.

\- - - - - - - -

Eiji is calling out his name. 

He answers, but it seems like Eiji can’t hear him.

Eiji keeps on calling out his name, and his voice... it sounds so sad.

Ash tries to raise his own voice, but it doesn’t come out as clearly as he’d like.

Eiji! I’m over here! 

Eiji?

“Ash.”

A brief moment of confusion hits him. 

A dream?

He blinks awake and sees Eiji seated by his bedside. A wave of relief washes over him. 

He suddenly realizes just how clammy and gross he feels. Was he sweating in his sleep? A bead of sweat trickles down his forehead. The room is submerged in the darkness of nighttime, so he can’t make out Eiji’s expression clearly even though he can sense that Eiji is peering at him. 

He reaches a hand out to Eiji, who grasps it gently in return.

Did he sneak out of his room again?

“What time is it?” Ash asks, voice raspy.

“Just after 3, I think?”

“Go back to your room. Do you know what happens if your wound gets infected?”

“…Yeah.” 

Eiji remains as still as a statue. He clings onto Ash’s hand tightly, his gaze fixed onto it. 

Yeah, something’s definitely up with him ever since they reunited here in this hospital. It’s true that Eiji has always been a worrywart, but this time is different. Something about him is different than usual.

Ash sighs, feeling frustrated at his own body for being so useless. He really wishes he has the strength to drag Eiji back to his room.

“What’s up?” he prompts instead. 

“I keep seeing a dream.”

“A dream?”

“Yeah, after I got admitted. Same one, over and over.”

“What’s it about?”

Eiji clams up for a while. When he starts speaking again, it comes out haltingly.

“I was in Japan. And then, I heard you got shot. So I came back here. And then everybody… They say you died.”

Eiji blinks, voice hushed. 

“I couldn’t believe it. I look all over the city, but you are not anywhere. Everybody tried to stop me. Stop looking for him, they say. He’s not here anymore, they say. But I pretend to take photos so I could keep looking for you. No matter where I go, how many photos I take, how many years pass… I still couldn’t find you.”

Ash’s breath catches in his throat. 

Eiji’s hand is trembling softly over his own.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Eiji murmurs, bringing their intertwined hands to his cheek. 

Silence settles in the space between them, although neither of them perceive it as such. Something is still unmistakably flowing between them like a wordless conversation—something palpable and alive.

Ash is the first to speak up. 

“Eiji.” 

He gives Eiji’s hand a firm squeeze. Instinctively, Eiji drops their hands from his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Ash says earnestly.

Eiji’s eyes grow wide at that. His jaw drops and he looks very taken aback.

Ash frowns. The hell is up with that dumb look?

“You, saying sorry?” Eiji shakes his head. “Feels like bad omen. Please don’t say it.”

“...Asshole. Get back to your damn room.” Annoyed, Ash lets go of his hand, tossing it aside callously. Eiji pipes up.

“Ash?”

“What now.”

“Can I hug you?”

Eiji doesn’t wait for an answer. He leans over Ash, wrapping his arms around him gingerly like he’s handling a fine piece of china, before pulling Ash flush against him like he’s trying to confirm that Ash is real, that all of this is real. Ash returns the hug as well.

“Please don’t disappear on me ever again,” Eiji whispers, face buried in Ash’s shoulder.

It was so soft that Ash isn’t even sure if he heard it right. Still, he can feel the emotion radiating from the arms wrapped around him. 

They stay that way for some time. Finally, Eiji pulls away. 

“Okay. I’m going back now.”

“You do that.”

Eiji lets out a string of soft “ows” on his way out of the room, probably having strained his wound in their earlier position. The light from the exit sign in the hallway spills in when he opens the door, casting a faint glow over the two of them. Eiji stops by the doorway one last time to look over at Ash, whose face is illuminated by the light.

“Good night, Ash. Sweet dreams.”

“Night. You too.”

Eiji smiles softly. The door falls shut with a click.

Ash feels himself sagging in relief at finally being able to see that smile. At the same time, the room plunges into darkness once again. 

Everything is still and quiet, save for the sound of the clock ticking away and the sheets rustling beneath him.

Ash slips a hand under his pillow and pulls out an envelope. It is the very same one that was returned to him by Yau-Si’s underling. Of course, the seal is already broken. Leaving its contents untouched, Ash stares intently at the outer layer that’s stained all over with his tears and blood. He’s only read the letter once, but the words at the end are floating through his mind again.

_My soul is always with you._

With me…

Ash feels a familiar warmth welling up in his chest. It never fails to happen every time he lets himself think about it.

_“What’s between you two... it’s too deep to be called friendship.”_

At that time, he had wondered, what the hell is this old fart trying to get at?

No... that’s not right. Deep down, he already knew.

Everything about Eiji—every single word that he says clears up the darkness inside him, and every single emotion that he shares fills Ash with so much warmth. Eiji is obviously special to him in a way that no one else is. Ibe had probably sensed that and thought it was worth cautioning him.

_“Will you be okay with that?”_

_Are you sure you don’t have feelings for Eiji that are more than friendship?_

_If Eiji started having feelings for you, are you sure you won’t get swept up unknowingly?_

Ash knows he's hit the nail on its head regarding Ibe’s intentions. 

No doubt, the feelings that he harbours are not the kind one would have for a friend. But they’re definitely not the kind one would have for a lover either.

It’s okay.

I’ll be okay. 

Even if either of them ended up falling for the other, he doesn’t think he’d be able to let himself make a move, nor would he have the courage to give in to Eiji’s advances.

Courage, huh. 

That’s not a word meant for himself, but for Eiji—who continues to support him with those helpless hands, who continues to stay by his side even though he lives right next door to Death himself. If that isn’t courage, then what is?

He’s tried so many times to let go, to put Eiji’s safety first, and yet...

He can't. He’s so _weak._

Even if he had the strength to shake off that warmth the first time, he couldn’t do it again if Eiji reaches out to him a second time. That’s how weak he is.

He looks at his hand, the same one that Eiji had tenderly held not too long ago. 

How badly had he been yearning for that touch? No one knows, not even Eiji.

From the very first day he arrived in New York as a young boy, no one had bothered to offer him a hand to hold. Instead, there were nights where he would hold his own hand, squeezing it tightly, begging—

_Somebody. Somebody, please. Anybody._

At long last, his desperate pleas have finally been granted.

Ash clenches the fist that’s still tingling with Eiji’s lingering warmth, and then wraps his other hand around it carefully, making sure not to crumple the letter in his grasp.

There's no letting go now.

He closes his eyes and places his fists in the space between his eyebrows. The edge of the letter presses against his forehead. Ibe’s words echo through his mind again.

_“Will you be okay?”_

I…

Ash stops thinking. He can’t go any further.

If I keep going, I’ll—

Turning his gaze to the windows, Ash sees the thin curve of the new moon peeking in through the gaps in the curtains. The moon shines so brightly on its own, but its light does not reach the inside of the room. Ash looks at it—stares at it—for feels like an eternity.

Eventually, he shifts his line of sight to the dark ceiling above. He moves his hands along with the letter down to his chest, looking as though he’s deep in prayer.

I have to get better soon. 

So that I don’t lose the ones that I cherish the most. So that they don’t get taken away from me ever again.

I have to get stronger.

Not just for my sake, but for them. So that I can protect them. Even if it means protecting them from myself—my weak, weak self.

Ash takes a deep breath and closes his eyes once more. Eiji’s smile from earlier springs up behind his eyelids.

_“Good night, Ash. Sweet dreams.”_

The corners of his lips quirk up at the memory. 

The moon starts fading away from the gaps in the curtains. In the dark, Ash slowly sinks into a deep slumber.

His hand, however, stays warm over his heart.

  


  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Any errors, typos or inaccuracies are my own. 
> 
> **Translator notes:**  
>  Prior to this, I’ve only ever translated shorter and lighter fics, so while the length and complexity was a step-up in challenge this time, my main struggle was actually in trying to preserve the "ambiguity" of the original text. I hope I managed to do that without being too vague/confusing OR too direct. 
> 
> Many thanks to the author, Coba-san for letting me translate this story and for entertaining all my silly questions. I’m sorry it took me so long, and I hope I didn’t do too badly.
> 
>  **Final sidenote:** It didn’t occur to me at first, but the author mentioned in a reply to a comment on the original fic that Yut-Lung had them placed in separate rooms on purpose just to spite them, which made me laugh because that’s _totally_ something he would do.


End file.
